Friday, June 14, 2013
Push me Lord, gently, but push me....
As I allow him to grow me and get braver and stronger in Him, I am able to look (peek) out more and more between the fingers over my eyes :) and see how thankful I am for this trial, this journey. Lord, help me to carry my cross...oh, you know how much I love you and want to, but sometimes it feels so long and so heavy, sometimes I don't want to pick it up and sometimes I just throw it down. But, I know that you will help me for I know you want only the very best for me. Somehow, especially today, I see how the scary things glorify you. Scare me sweetly Lord...thank you for helping me to pick it back up. It could only be my savior <3 font="">
Friday, March 8, 2013
I'm here.....back at the well. Will you join me?
I find myself, here, back at the well, thinking of you My Lord. Thinking of me. Reflecting in the well waters of this past year. It has been so long. So long....as I look back to think how empty and large and echoing I thought the well was last time I was here. Oh how my eyes sting as I look into the well and see how full it has always been. Oh, how the tears spill as I humbly thank you for your promises that are always there, but not always seen. For your trustworthiness. For your grace. For your love. For your gifts. For your righteousness. For your answered prayers. For your tender touches. For your loving correction. For your teaching. For your surrounding me with your children. Oh Father, how are their words to thank you.....
Last time I was at the well I came and left with a shattered heart. A heart of confusion, one of questions of why? why me? One of doubt. One of unbelief. One admittedly lacking in faith in this area of my life. One of wanting so desperately to trust, but lacking so. Lord I wanted to jump in the well and hide there forever, not knowing how I could breathe another moment, take another step or go on another day with such pain and such confusion. Oh, the confusion and the questions Lord. Although it was a struggle, to say the least Lord, one thing I knew for sure was, I didn't have the answers, and didn't have the power to fix my brokenness. Somehow, I knew it was something I had to leave with you, at the well, and wait on you for. It wasn't something that I could easily do, especially without you. But, somewhere in this heart you created, I knew I must trust in you and patiently wait. http://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=6492993638667727537#editor/target=post;postID=340954724015885351
For even recognizing that I must wait on you, I know, of course, only came from you. Even in my most darkest of times, you supernaturally gave me the faith I was so lacking. I am blown away once again by you and your ways.
Lord, I come to the well, this night, to say, humbly, thank you. To drink from the everlasting waters within and leave a few drops of tears of gratefulness to add. Thank you for teaching me to rely on you, to trust in you and for allowing me to patiently, yet frustratingly, :) wait upon you once again. For Lord, I did patiently wait, by your grace,as you had so lovingly instructed me to. And just barely over a year from my last visit to the well, I return with a new heart full of renewed joy, victory, love, increased faith and overwhelming sense of your love and appreciation for your ways. How is it possible I could be more amazed by your ways? :)
This past year Lord has been one of the most painful, yet, one of the most beautiful to me. One of the sweetest in my 46. For it is in this year, that you have grown me and had me trust and rely on you in ways I never have before. And, through every one of the painful moments, every difficult breath, every tear, every fear and doubt.....I thank you. I praise you, Abba Father.
For Lord, you have answered my prayers. In your ways and your perfect timing. And oh, how beautiful your answers have been. I think the most sweetest of all is how you are changing my heart Lord. Renewing it daily. Growing it to the point I feel it will burst. Purposefully, molding my heart to be more like yours. I pray that you will continue my journey in this regard and I know you will. I leave this as a marker, for I know as you continue in your love there will be more trials, more tribulations (dare I type it out loud??). Within those trials and tribulations, Father, I am praying for you and your Kingdom to be rippled throughout my life. I pray for ripples God. And in those that are yet to come I lift my hands to you in worship and to the heavens and say thank you.
Last time I was at the well I came and left with a shattered heart. A heart of confusion, one of questions of why? why me? One of doubt. One of unbelief. One admittedly lacking in faith in this area of my life. One of wanting so desperately to trust, but lacking so. Lord I wanted to jump in the well and hide there forever, not knowing how I could breathe another moment, take another step or go on another day with such pain and such confusion. Oh, the confusion and the questions Lord. Although it was a struggle, to say the least Lord, one thing I knew for sure was, I didn't have the answers, and didn't have the power to fix my brokenness. Somehow, I knew it was something I had to leave with you, at the well, and wait on you for. It wasn't something that I could easily do, especially without you. But, somewhere in this heart you created, I knew I must trust in you and patiently wait. http://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=6492993638667727537#editor/target=post;postID=340954724015885351
For even recognizing that I must wait on you, I know, of course, only came from you. Even in my most darkest of times, you supernaturally gave me the faith I was so lacking. I am blown away once again by you and your ways.
Lord, I come to the well, this night, to say, humbly, thank you. To drink from the everlasting waters within and leave a few drops of tears of gratefulness to add. Thank you for teaching me to rely on you, to trust in you and for allowing me to patiently, yet frustratingly, :) wait upon you once again. For Lord, I did patiently wait, by your grace,as you had so lovingly instructed me to. And just barely over a year from my last visit to the well, I return with a new heart full of renewed joy, victory, love, increased faith and overwhelming sense of your love and appreciation for your ways. How is it possible I could be more amazed by your ways? :)
This past year Lord has been one of the most painful, yet, one of the most beautiful to me. One of the sweetest in my 46. For it is in this year, that you have grown me and had me trust and rely on you in ways I never have before. And, through every one of the painful moments, every difficult breath, every tear, every fear and doubt.....I thank you. I praise you, Abba Father.
For Lord, you have answered my prayers. In your ways and your perfect timing. And oh, how beautiful your answers have been. I think the most sweetest of all is how you are changing my heart Lord. Renewing it daily. Growing it to the point I feel it will burst. Purposefully, molding my heart to be more like yours. I pray that you will continue my journey in this regard and I know you will. I leave this as a marker, for I know as you continue in your love there will be more trials, more tribulations (dare I type it out loud??). Within those trials and tribulations, Father, I am praying for you and your Kingdom to be rippled throughout my life. I pray for ripples God. And in those that are yet to come I lift my hands to you in worship and to the heavens and say thank you.
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